Already I am backed up on my blogs!! ha! Better get used to that...

Yesterday I ran for something that I am pretty sure that I will be talking about again...and again...and again.....

My Dad's wife has Alzheimer's at the age of 56. 56 YEARS YOUNG!!! This makes me more upset than I can ever say...she is a strong, smart, and young. And yet all of those things do not matter when it comes to this ugly and sad disease.

I am not going to sit here and pretend that her & I are very close...we are not. To be honest I talked to my father for the first time in four years last week. After my divorce our relatioship was gone...but I hope that we can mend that. I think that it is very possible but we both just need to move out of the past and think about our relationship going forward. But I cannot even start to imagine what he is going through now...as a caregiver instead of a husband.

She was a runner...she ran the Boston Marathon and now she can even write her name on paper. When I think about it--it makes me so sad but then very pissed off...why is there even such a thing called Alzheimer's...why haven't we found a cure?!

So when I worked out yesterday I thought about her....fighting to just even get through her day and trying to find her way in a world that used to be filled with her life....work, running, and finally finding love with my Dad.....

But also for my Dad...to be a caregiver to someone that is your spouse...your partner...when you are supposed to be planning your retirerment...I know he must be anger, I think I would be.

I am seeing my Dad for the first time in six weeks and I am very nervous. He has yet to meet my husband...hell he has yet to meet his youngest two grandchildren! I know that things will be okay...that might not be perfect but family never is....but I do love him...with all of his faults and all of mine. He is my Dad...you only get one so I am going to do what I have to - to make sure we do not lose our relationship again...

She deserves more out of life...and I wish I could make things better for her...her son...and my dad.